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George Burgess
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A Victorian Scrapbook

A Scrapbook of Newspaper Articles Compiled by George Burgess (1829-1905)

Victorian Culture and Life

Short Victorian era newspaper articlesCompilation of short humorous Victorian era newspaper articles...

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Transcript from original newspaper article: -
…. A secret is like silence – you cannot talk about it; it is like money – when you once know there is any concealed, it is half discovered.

“My dear Murphy,” said an Irishman to his friend, “why did you betray the secret I told you?”

“Is it betraying that you call it? Sure, when I found I wasn’t able to keep it myself, didn’t I do well to tell it to somebody who could?”

…. A GREAT EVIL NOT REMOVED. - A conference preacher one day went into the house of a Wesleyan Reformer, and saw, suspended on the walls, the portraits of the three expelled ministers.

“What,” said he, “you have them there?”
“O, yes, they are there,” was the answer.
“But one is wanted to complete the set.”
“Pray, who it that?”
“Why, the devil, to be sure.”
“Ah,” said the Reformer, “he is not yet expelled from the Conference.”

…. GOOD GRACIOUS! – An unmarried lady on the wintry side of fifty, hearing of the marriage of a young lady, her friend, observed with a deep and sentimental sigh, -

“Well, suppose it is what we all must come to.”

…. “As I was going,” said an Irishman, “over Westminster Bridge, the other day, I met Pat Hewins.”
“Hewins,” says I, “How are you?”
“Pretty well, I thank you, Donley,” says he.
Says I, “that’s not my name.”
“Faith, no more is my name Hewins,” says he.
So we looked at each other, and faith it turned out to be neither of us.